I have been back in NY for three days now and let me tell you it has been a rough adjustment. It always is, but this time has left me feeling more melancholy than usual. Overwhelmed by the questionable fact of when I will see you and mom again. Saddened by the reality that it is never enough time. My visits are never enough. We never get to do everything. Sometimes it is nice to just do nothing, just have daily life, just hang. But ultimately, it makes me feel a little bummed that we don't get to share more with each other. I mean this in the sense, that I long to just call you up on any given day and meet for lunch. Shoot you a text and say hi, come meet me for a drink. Send you an e-mail showing you something cool that we can do together. It becomes more and more difficult the older i get to come to terms with the realization that we may never get to share day to day life together. so that's why I think you should move to New York.
On a not much lighter note, Marisa and I had MOVES tonight. The three people that showed up did a great job, but it left us feeling so defeated and lame. Honestly, it wasn't my favorite combination any ways, but fuck!!! How do you get people to get into your stuff? How do you get a tribe going? How do you make people follow you? I have no god damn idea. Tonight did, however, leave me with a decision. I have always wanted to put on a burlesque type dance show. So I am going to start choreographing. Sexy. Smart. Stylish... stay tuned.
My mind is all over the place and I am finding it difficult to type and focus. I am going to eat my cottage cheese and then jump out my window. just kidding. well, at least about the window part.
i love you daddy
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