Heart

It has been said that by the age of four, we are all artists. And by the time we are seven, we are poets. The notion goes that, as long as society doesn’t bake out the creativity in us all, there simply are no limits to what we can do. Our art becomes the bold ways we choose to live and brighten the lives of others.

In this light, it must be said that, the individuals and families who battle cystic fibrosis on a daily basis are truly prodigies – their art is the brave engagement with the

disease, the remarkable ways they imagine the possibilities in spite of it and their unfailing hope that they too can enjoy the best that life has to offer.

Chronicled here again tonight, these spirited people kindly share with us a corner of the canvas of their lives. Once again we are moved by their generosity and deeply inspired by the breadth of their heart. DG

From The 28th CF Gala Book

seeing double

I feel like I am seeing double. Sometimes I actually wish there was two of me so that I could be split in different directions. That's not the case, so this double image is just for fun. It's also funny because I pulled my neck today and this picture shows how I am bracing myself. I knew it was going to happen too. I woke up with a funny feeling in my neck and sure enough as the day progressed through work, bike riding, lifting, stirring, dancing... it's out. I am seeing a doctor tomorrow who I have been meaning to see for the past year. She is who all my dance friends go to and she is supposed to be amazing. Every time I have made an appointment I have to cancel because something related to work comes up. This last time was a because I had to film CHOPPED the second day... and loose, oh well. So I finally broke, literally, and tomorrow at 9am I am hoping that Dr. Isis Medina will heal me and make my equilibrium come back to Earth. Love you daddy.

Start Talking to OTHER PEOPLE!!!

Daddy, you know I love you, but sometimes I just don't understand why you do the things you do or choose to communicate the way you do? I know this can be said for me as well, but as you know, life is a constant struggle to better one's self and how we treat those around them. That being said, I feel like I need to tell you that the blog posting you wrote yesterday made/makes me feel terrible. I don't think that is the way to go about this. This is a safe place and a happy place for BOTH of us.

This past weekend I have merely been trying not to cry with the overwhelming dissappointment and sadness I have from losing a HUGE competition. Not to mention the complete exhaustion I have been battling from not sleeping or eating for the past week. The tremendous pressure, although self induced, has made it difficult to focus on anything other that the constant question in my head of "am I good enough..." follow by " what the fuck am i doing!!!" Lets also not forget that after losing on friday and being up until 2am I then had to get up at 5am both saturday and sunday to work. WORK!!! Cook more for people. Then after cooking I had to go and teach with a fucking smile on my face. I had to go and be happy for OTHER people even though i was so filled with sadness for myself. Yesterday I also had to work. More cooking, which is what i love, but can feel more like work than fun.

Yes it is true, my life is filled with many people. My day to day routine starts early and ends late. My obligations are many and I try to fulfill and live up to them as best I can. Of course I fall short, but I am giving it my best which is something you have instilled in me. Sure my social network pages are filled, please remember I am also using those forums as a networking and press tool. I don't not necessarily enjoy taking an hour to upload and post videos, or tweeting about every fucking meal i make, or commenting on clients and friends pages just to make sure they aren't forgetting about me.

I love you. I wish there was more time and somethings more energy to devote to just US. I wish we were closer. I wish we were richer so we could fly back and forth and share in one another's lives. I wish all of that. In the mean time, I am doing my best to love you the best way I know how.

Here is my advice for you if you are lonely.
Go out and make new friends. Start talking, people will listen because you are passionate and intelligent and most of all funny as shit. Put yourself out there. Get out of your house. Find new things to do. Don't use monitary funds or distance as an excuse. There are a lot of cool things for free and awesome people who are close. If you are unhappy with something change it. It isn't fair to focus that unhappiness on the fact that I haven't posted in a few days or weeks. I started this blog, remember that. I began this journey with you to learn about you and us in a new way, not to put limitations or expectations on each other.

We are creatives. We are creators. We are lovers. We love one another.

Talking to Myself!

There is certainly more information on your Facebook page than there is on Mount Whitney Moments – Moves video, Science of the Lambs, photos of friends, etc. Aside from the occasional client meeting, a couple of hours a week visiting with Marsha and a 30 minute coffee with Walter, I am primarily alone. So when I write to you on this blog the assumption was (is) that you would be reading and interacting with me on a very personal level. But you really are not.

I feel guilty because I know you are very busy. I know you will call me when you can. And I know you know I love you. But I think MWM is simply another obligation that you have taken on that requires understanding and patience from me. When, in actuality, I'm just talking to myself – it amplifies my aloneness: horribly.

Congratulations Chef Lauren!

Dearest Lauren,

Your lineage on my family's side, the sum total of people and their individual identities, has been diverse and varied. It includes a high-ranking electrical engineer in the Canadian government, a butcher in liverpool, an airline executive, some real estate practitioners, a Christian missionary in India and a few Christian family counselors in Georgia, a bus driver, a carpenter: the list goes on. And I am a designer and occasional artist. In your case, I would call it a creative ( a quadruple threat).

As you were growing up I thought you might be a singer, may be a dancer, or an actress, and then perhaps a painter or another designer – you were meant to do good things and there was never a question that you would not achieve your goals. The goal you have set for this moment in your life, to be not just a chef, but a chef that can bring delight and joy is becoming a reality and I am indeed amazed by the passion and talent you display. Congratulations – meal well done! Love Dad

Mother's Day 2011

Nanny and I got together for brunch just before noon. She had been on the phone for a few hours talking to you , Steven Worrall and a few girlfriends so nothing much had been done to bring the brunch to fruition. We quickly teamed up together in the kitchen and started to pull out some bacon, sausage, mushrooms and eggs. And the star of the typical British- style brunch: six or so plump lambs kidneys – let the mixed grill begin! We laughed hysterically throughout the preparation and in no time we were sitting down to the greasy sunny-side up eggs surrounded by fat laden meats, some fresh scones and a large glass of white wine for each of us.

Neither of us could move after the feast. We slowly moved to the living room, fired up the TV and watched the Lakers lose miserably to Denver – end of the playoffs and Phil Jackson's rein as coach. Hope knew nothing about basketball so I filled her in along the way and she seemed to enjoy it. She won't remember a single thing I told her for sure. I love my Mom. And I will miss her when the time comes. It will be sooner or later but inevitable. She is a true best friend.

Hope Springs Eternal In My Heart!

Happy Mother's Hope!

Glass Half Full

Getting my head on straight

I am feeling a whole hell of a lot better this week. I don't know what the fuck was going on last week, but I sure was in a funk. I have been going to yoga every morning at 7am and going to dance at least twice a week, it helps me be sane. Work is also starting to pick up and look better. Personal relationships are smoothing themselves out. Anxiety about Chopped is fading (although I am sure it will return with avengence next week). I guess my silence or inability to talk was due to the fact that I was having to many inner dialogues that I just could manage having any real ones with real people. My personalities are chilling out and I can breath again. Life is funny that way isn't it.

Today I am meeting with Flannery to discuss menus for upcoming gigs, then dance rehearsal with Marisa for MOVES, then some afternoon bike riding to clear my head, and then off to a concert with Daniel tonight. I am approaching the day with delight and hopefulness that I will learning something new, make someone laugh, smile about something simple and be a richer person than I was when I woke up. I wish the same for you! Love you sooooooo much daddy.

Have we talked lately!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzSaoN2LdfU

Nanny sent this to me so I called her to tell her it was really funny! You guessed it – she couldn't remember sending it. We had a laugh or two about that. Love you – Dad