Ask your buddy if his new friend with the nighty ever travels to California – be nice to help a brother out, right? Moving on. I was up early today just taking care of crap; administrivia to the nth degree. Finished up around 9:30 and sat down to work on the StratosForm Website. I'm putting all the criteria together to send off to Stuart so that he doesn't get bored over the holidays. Then did some new business stuff to see if I can line up some more work. As always, hope something comes of all the effort.
This afternoon I met Bob Guzman for a casual lunch and he filled me in on all his adventures. The actual lunch was hilarious.
As long as I have known Bob, he asks for extra napkins almost immediately upon sitting down. This lunch was no exception. Like clock work he asked the server for extra napkins and, quick like a bunny, she was back with a stack in no time. (It's one of those things like John Conroy senior – he would complain that his soup was cold even if it was steaming up his glasses.) The server said she would give us a moment and Bob and I began to bring each other up to speed.
He had a bad cough and kept needing to turn away to cough. Each time he did, I would grab a bunch of napkins and hide them in my lap under the table. He never noticed the pile getting smaller. Two coughs later, all the napkins were gone. A few minutes went by and Bob realized he was napkinless, waved over the server and asked her to please bring him the napkins he had requested. Puzzled but cheery, she did so with enthusiasm and dispatch and Bob was soon happy. He mumbled to me that she was a fucking idiot. He continued to cough and I, with stone face, continued to steal his napkins. Again, he noticed the napkinlessness. This time he was really perturbed, raised his voice and said, rather loudly, "Waitress! Napkins!" She finished talking to another customer and rushed over to our table looking very sheepish. Bob laid into her about how the restaurant seemed to have a shortage of napkins – please bring some:NOW. (Customer is always right, right?)
Off she went dutifully returning soon after with the biggest pile of napkins you have ever seen. Stretching out the two words so that they would drip with facetiousness, Bob said "Thank. You." She said no problem and I knew my moment was upon us. I asked if I could get a warm up on my coffee and then pulled out the 3 inch high stack of "missing" napkins from my lap and said, "And could you bring me some new napkins – these seem to have lost their fluff!" The server was close to tears. Bob said, "You fucker!", started to laugh, which quickly turned into an uncontrollable cough. Jesus, I thought he was going to stroke out. Needless to say, napkins abound for the rest of the lunch.
Love you, Dad
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